Say...What?

It's supposed to be, "Say Cheese!" But by the time those words are out of my mouth, my Four In A Row are out of alignment.

There's no way to get all four in the same picture, at the same time, all looking toward the camera, much less faking a smile of some sort. (One of these days I am going to get a digital SLR and simply hold the shutter down. Surely I'll get a good one in the split second it takes the shutter to click off a picture.)

I don't get it. I guess I didn't pay enough attention in science class. Is there a name for the electrical-like charge that occurs when a parent puts one or more sibling within touching range of another one?

I cannot put my kids together without some weird force zapping between them causing them to bounce around and laugh (or, more likely cry) hysterically. And, this applies to more than just my insane attempts at photo shoots.

Yesterday, Jack proudly brought home his new Scholastic books. His favorite is a book about Sharks. (Dan has worked hard at cultivating this interest, using Discovery Channel's "Shark Week," which airs each summer.)

Jack couldn't wait to have me read the book to him. Neither could his siblings. Before I could get through the first two sentences, however, Luke goes into his High Pitched Ear Piercing Scream mode. Why? Because I have Jack sitting on one side of me on the couch and Maria on the other and Luke wants to sit next to me.

I read louder.

Luke continues. (There is no off button on this one.)

I pause in my reading and explain to Luke that he'll have to sit next to Jack or Maria. By this time, I now have Sam in my lap because he was upset due to Luke's HPEPS mode. (Pronounced H-peps).

Pushing, prodding and squashing everything and everyone, Luke finally finds a spot while I continue to read. Sam grabs at the pages. Jack keeps trying to flip to the scary picture page and now Luke has begun to antagonize his baby brother. Maria complains whines about the commotion. I hold the book further away from everyone and continue to read. Loudly.

I did finish the book. Was there any enjoyment or comprehension on anyone's part? I think not. All I could think about as I clawed my way up from the bottom of the kid heap with tattered Shark book in hand, was, "I'm out of wine. I wonder if I can get in and out of the liquor store with all four children and no damage?"

See. The craziness rubs off. My kids in a liquor store? With TOWERS of GLASS BOTTLES begging to be knocked over? I shudder to think of it. I waited until Dan got home.