I scream, you scream...

We all scream for... Frostys?

The kids were due an "ice cream party" for getting enough marbles in their good-behavior jar. (So what if it took them six months.) We were going to go last night, but no one ate their dinner and it got late, so we postponed until this evening.

Everyone The kids decided on McDonald's soft serve cones. After lots of hoorays and dancing around, we piled into the van and headed out. Thinking we were saving ourselves a lot of potential pain, we chose the McDonald's without the playplace.

When we arrived, I corralled the boys into a booth while Maria accompanied Dan to the counter to place our order. Four vanilla cones and a chocolate milkshake (that's mine).

The boys start squirming. I notice that it does seem to be taking a while. (We're the only customers, so it's not like we got caught in a big soft-serve rush.) Jack looks over and exclaims, "they're filling the ice cream machine!" Sure enough, they were. Just then, Maria appears with my milkshake and two cones - one for Jack and one for Sam. They start licking away.

"Where's mine?" Luke asks. "It's coming," I unknowingly lie, as I sip my shake. Maria then asks if she can have Sam's cone. "No," I tell her. "Yours is coming." (Another lie.)

I look over and see Dan in what looks like a somewhat-heated discussion with the McDonald's shift manager. Hmmmmm. Dan's pretty easy going. But, it is getting late and two of our children are still lacking ice cream.

The next thing I know, Dan's coming over to the table to tell those of us with frozen dairy products that we have to return them. Huh?!? What's THAT about?

"Even me?" I ask.
"Yep," he says.
Well sh*t.

I began to herd our justly disappointed children out of the store and into the van. "It's okay," I tell them. "We'll go someplace else." Jack requests going to Wendy's for Frostys.

When Dan joins us I ask for a report. He explained that after two cones were made, the ice cream machine ran out and he was told it would be an HOUR before any more ice cream would be ready. Dan asked for his money back and was given $2.17.

"But I paid you $6.30," he says.
"Yes, but you received some of your order already," says the shift manager.
"You don't understand," Dan explains. "I still have two children without ice cream. I didn't get my full order. I want my money back. You can have your food back."

I could go on a bit, but I'd rather not. Dan returned the food and got his money back and we headed to Wendy's.

Again, I got the boys seated while Maria assisted Dan. Unfortunately.

Dan ordered four Frostys. Seconds later, Maria shows up at the table with a half empty Frosty and a crushed look. "I did the best I could, Mommy," she says. *Sigh* Apparently, in the six feet between the counter and the table, she managed to dump half of her Frosty on the floor.

Dan took the half-empty Frosty to the counter and asked for a replacement, which they were happy to give. Wow. (The floor-half of the Frosty remained where it was, in a high traffic area, but hey, you can't expect too much.)

As Dan sits down with Maria's replacement, she announces the need to pee, so I escort her to the ladies room...

The kids began to make their way, s-l-o-w-l-y, through their Frostys.

"These are HUGE," I tell Dan. "We are never going to get out of here."
"Yeah," he tells me, "but you should have seen how small the minis were."
"WHAT?!? They have minis? I don't care if they're the size of a shot glass! You should have gotten those!" I tell him.

Just then, Jack announces his need to pee. Dan takes Jack to the men's room. Around that time, I realize that Sam is more interested in eating his shoe than eating his Frosty. Then, Luke says, "uh oh," and requests a napkin. Just as I reach for one, Maria paints me with a spoon full of Frosty. Dan and Jack return. As they sit down, Dan looks at Sam (who is in my lap) and states, "He's pooping."

Time to go! Jack throws his Frosty in the trash. (I think he ate 1/3 of it.) Luke starts crying because we make him throw his away. (It literally has two bites left - of, like, 20 oz.!!!) Maria puts a top on hers and announces that she's taking it home. (We'll be chipping that out of the freezer next May.) Sam continues to entertain himself by munching on his shoe. (Not as gross as it could be as he isn't walking yet!)

So... next time they fill the marble jar? They're getting a bag of candy from Wal-Mart.