Uppercase Living

so... i recently became an uppercase living demonstrator. have you seen this yet?!? it is sooooo cool. i was actually in search of something like this for maria's room and when i found uppercase, i jumped right in with both feet. i've never sold anything (other than girl scout cookies 30 years ago) but i didn't hesitate. the product sells itself! these beautiful expressions can be easily applied to your walls, windows, mirrors or any other relatively smooth surface. and (drum roll, please...) they can be REMOVED without damaging the surface. what an awesome way to add something to your home, office, car, etc.

not only do i get to be the first to show people this great new product, but i also get to have some adult time in the evenings when i do demonstrations. i didn't realize how much i needed this. it's really put a shot of energy and excitement into things for me.

go check it out at www.uppercaseliving.com. my ID # is 832718 and token is "cheerio."

the picture here is of my little boys' room...

Family Photo Update

the other day i opened our front door to see that our family photos (taken at the church, remember?) had finally arrived. i nervously opened the package and discovered, pleasantly, that the photo of our family was actually pretty good! i was excited and couldn't wait to show dan. he, too, was impressed. i set them aside to mail later. (we only got enough for my parents, dan's parents, my sisters and dan's sisters - they weren't cheap!

fast forward a few days to today. the little boys are sleeping and i decided that jack and maria had had enough tv for the day. they love to color, so i set them at the kitchen table with WASHABLE crayons and coloring books. stupidly i went upstairs to the bonus room to get on the computer. they were right downstairs, where i could hear them. they were under strict orders not to fight over the crayons or books. as i typed on the computer, i listened to them banter. things seemed to be reasonably under control, but i had heard a little thumping around (which means they weren't staying at the table). so, i thought i'd sneak down to check on them. okay. take a deep breath...

they had found the photos, opened the envelope and RIPPED THE PICTURES UP.

do i need to remind anyone what a total NIGHTMARE the picture taking session was? (check out the above info if you need reminding)

yes, i can order more pictures, but they are not cheap!!! needless to say that although i rarely spank, this was one of those times. both maria and jack got an earful, spanks on the butt and were sent to their rooms. you should have seen the look of complete outrage on their faces. like i had appeared out of nowhere and ruined some silly fun. i guess i'm an evil mom - and a pictureless one.

Photo shoot... The Day After

UPDATE!!!!
i took sam to get a synergis shot today. as i'm pulling out of the parking lot a woman comes running over. it's the deacon's wife. she was there last night during the fiasco. anyway, get this - she comes running over, asking about my kids. she was worried that i had brought sam to the doc because of his "head injury" last night. hehehehe. i told her she could relax - sam's fine! good Lord, we made an impression.

By the way...

did i mention that as dan is dragging our kids out of the room to take them to the car while i pay the kids are asking for suckers?!? luckily dan was able to restrain himself from using profainity. he simply said, "no way - you're not getting any suckers!!!" my kids have nerve, don't they?

Picture Taking Hell

so. now i know why there are no professional photos of my family when i was growing up. i also now know why the parish only attempts to publish a family photo directory once every 10 or 15 years.

6:15 p.m. isn't the best time for us as a family. in fact, it's a pretty sh*tty time. probably the worst. but, it was the only time for us to schedule the photo. (did i mention the FREE 8x10?) if we didn't do it at 6:15, it would have to be during the day (dan would miss work) or on a saturday (soccer). so. 6:15 it was. i prepared diligently. i reminded them several times throughout the day that we were having our pictures taken after dinner. i had my kids (all of them) fed early, dressed decently and ready to go by the appointed time. some were kicking and screaming, but we had the ride over to the church to cool down. i had my bribe in mind (suckers).

apparently my kids were slightly confused and thought the bribe sucked. while filing out paperwork jack and maria ran around and made faces in the mirror. luke screamed because dad wouldn't let him down. sam was an angel. we finally got going with the photographer. jack wouldn't stand still, maria kept putting her hands up and luke (after saying he wanted to be on dad's lap) kept screaming "down." the photographer tries her "everyone freeze like a popsicle!" and gets out her goofy doll to distract. (whom, i'm not sure). jack makes a face, maria closes her eyes, sam is and angel and luke starts doing the wave like they do at baseball games. after more lame bribes, lots of threats and 157 takes, the photographer gave up and said she thought she "got one". then, bravely, she asked if we'd like a pic of the kids. dan said "no," i said "yes." no, i wasn't drunk. (in hindsight, however, i probably should have had a shot or two of whiskey before leaving the house.)

the photographer asked if one of the "older" kids could hold the baby. i said yes. would a chair with a back be best? yes. maria gets the chair, we give her sam. i tell dan to supervise her while we get luke and jack squared away. dan can't resist helping with jack and WHAM! sam hits the floor. the only child behaving is now screaming and has a red mark on his forehead from where he hit the floor. maria declares, "i wasn't holding onto him very tight." no kidding. i get poor sam calmed down. we decide to put the kids on the floor. after skootching and scrunching and positioning, we think we're ready. luke starts lifting his shirt and maria and sam start listing to the side... i reposition maria and sam and give luke a repremand. it's no use. luke wants a picture of his belly. "that's it!" i say. "FORGET IT!!!" no pictures of just the kids. none.

i sit down to review the pictures of our family. ha. okay. we found one that was not as embarrassing as the rest. that will go into the directory. do we want to buy some? well, hell yes, we do -- i'm not going to go through this again any time this century!

those of you lucky enough to get a copy of the picture (or even just get a viewing) are advised to tell me how beautiful my family is and how wonderful we all look. also, be sure to frame it using archive quality stuff because you ain't ever gettin' another!

oh, and the moral of the story? bribe the PHOTOGRAPHER, not the kids. i bet if i had told her i'd spend $1,000 on prints if she could get a good pic things might have turned out differently. okay. probably not.

Another Day in the Life...

this morning started off fairly normal... we did have to take daddy to work today since we picked him up yesterday to run errands and left his car at work.

when we returned home, i got all the supplies out necessary to build a really cool gourd bird feeder. of course, i end up doing almost all of the work while the kids run amok and throw this morning's newspaper all around the kitchen. jack is intermittenly interested and at one of these points, he and i work together while maria and luke unroll the entire roll of easel paper in the other room. maria and luke then return to the kitchen where maria grabs the bag of dried apricots and shoves about 40 into her mouth. i think there are some poopy diapers in my future.

we finally finish our project (crooked, but functional) and head upstairs to play for a while. everyone is really playing nicely together and enjoying themselves (i even compliment them!) the phone rings. it's tony! i haven't talked to tony in a year and i'm thrilled he's called. i try to sneak off to another room to have a quiet conversation. one minute later here comes maria. then luke. meanwhile, jack is in the hall with the new box of 200 pullups. i hear ripping tape and know the house is about to be decorated, so while managing to maintain a conversation, i nip his intent in the bud.

i choose another room and lock myself in. seconds later i hear screaming. very LOUD, hysterical, screaming and crying from my daughter. unable to put it off, i put tony on hold and assess the situation on the other side of the door. jack has thrown maria's precious blankie over the bannister. i tell maria to stop crying and run back to quickly finish my conversation. tony and i had been discussing a possible visit. he's probably second guessing now. i hang up and i walk into the playroom to find EVERY SINGLE toy dumped out of the bins and off the shelves. a jack tornado has struck.

i force jack and maria to restore the toys. as maria puts blocks into a bucket, luke happily takes them out, causing more hysteria. i pry luke away so maria can finish her task (after reminding her 23 time of her job). luke then turns to tormenting jack by removing all of the trucks he has linked up against the wall. more hysteria. i distract luke again and the kids finish their non-stellar cleaning. currently, everyone is back to calmly playing with the occassional sibling torment in between.

it's only 11:26 in the morning...