Tuesday, January 3, 2006

Hemmersmeier H*ll

welcome to hemmersmeier h*ll, installment 183
i think it started this morning with maria crawling into bed with us at 6:30 or so. not normally a problem, this morning (when no one had to get up) she WOULD NOT stop talking and fidgeting. so much for sleeping in. jack soon joins the melee and no one is sleeping now. good 'ole dad doesn't have to work today so he offers jack and maria a donut run! after much excitment, tears and arguing, the kids are dressed and ready to go. thankfully luke-the-wonder-child sleeps through it all and i even get a bowl of oatmeal in before waking him.
after donuts and a trip to wal-mart, the wrecking crew return. good 'ole dad bought gingerbread mix and we're going to make cookies!!! fun is had by all, but the flour gets out of hand. soon the vacuum comes out to suck up the HUGE mess. while much of this is going on, luke and i are upstairs talking to caroline. we return to wonderful smells and fresh cookies. i grab a big soft cookie for luke and sets him in his chair for a yummy snack. seconds later dan asks, "where's jack's big, fat christmas tree cookie?!?" oops. i explain that i gave it to luke. jack hears the exchange and bursts into tears. now, of course, he doesn't want ANY cookies. eventually, though, with everyone else eating them, he can't resist.
after ALL the cookies are gone, we go outside for a while to enjoy the 70 degree weather. we decide a playground would be more fun and head out. after some running on the playground we return for lunch. does anyone eat? NO! they had just eaten all 37 gingerbread cookies an hour ago.
maria and luke go down for naps. jack plays for a little while and then he goes down for a nap (then up, then down, then up, then down...) after he pees and washes his hands (and his doggie pees and washes his hands), they're finally down for the count.
while i remain home nap-policing, dan heads off to the honda dealer. yesterday, while dad was distracted, a very cute little boy and adorable little girl put all my spare change into the cd player in the van, shorting out all of the interior lights and radio. good news: only $90. bad news: cd player is ruined. oh, and we win the record for most money inserted into a cd player - $2.30. (previous record was $1.81)!
dan returns home with the good and bad news only to discover worse news: our garage door opener is dead. after an hour on hold with our home warranty company we discover the repair and/or replacement is NOT covered under our policy. of course it isn't - what were we thinking?!?
while dan's out monkeying with our garage door opener, i hear some activity in the play room. i climb the steps to find maria naked from the waste down. "WHAT are you doing?" i asked her. "i just peed on jack's firetruck," maria responds. "WHAT?" i ask, sure i misheard her. "i peed on jack's firetruck - over there," she says. sure enough, she did just that. don't ask me how... yuck.
soon after, all of the kids are up from their naps. yeah! it doesn't take long before everyone is bickering (except for dear, sweet luke, of course) so dear 'ole dad gathers them up (after lots of crying and protesting) for a walk around the neighborhood. i stay home and cook a nutritious meal of belgian waffles. the crowd bursts in and after lots of crying and protesting (except from luke) everyone is seated an eating. luke can't get enough - i think he ate two whole waffles himself. jack, too, does great, but drops not one, but TWO forks during the meal which have to be replaced. meanwhile, maria drops her cup (she will NEVER have anything but a sippy cup) AND a fork, with a timeout in between. she ate virtually nothing, but did cry a lot.
as i type this, good 'ole dad is giving baths (amid lots of crying and protesting - but not from luke-the-wonder-child).
it's 6:34. i'm counting down until bedtime.